Funnies Part 1

Extracts from my facebook profile.

Ha ha (Dude) started singing but kept stopping and wigging his finger in a circle round his face then starting again. Was wondering what he was doing then realised he was 'loading/buffering' lol

tut tut (Dude)'s trying to teach the cat to sit and roll over. weird thing is the cats responding lol 
ha ha (Dude) : *burp* ahhhh jay! (the cat) you smell! lol

(Dude): so mum what we gonna do in march?
Me: :S

(Dude): mum what would happen if all the children swoppeted with farm animals and they went to school?
me: ermmm ............

(Dude)'s declared he's batboy and is nocturnal! Not far off :/

Got (Dude) a bag of jelly beans from the traditional sweet shop. He thinks they're Bertie Botts every flavour beans and is trying them all so he can give me the vomit, earwax and booger flavour ones! Nice child!

I'm not sure if this is a good deal! (Dude): if you let me sleep in your bed with no splints I'll let you have a sleep in!

Haha and now I actually agree with summit he's just said: why are these idiots cutting their grass at this time of night? If it was me I'd do it in the morning not at night! Did they come home and say oh no I forgot to cut my grass! Crikey! I gotta do it at midnight!

(Dude): Mum! My arm just exploded! *whispers* ah man! I hope I grow another one!

Sat (Dude) on side of pool. (Dude): I have water in my pants! :O lol

(Dude): why is the soap so far away. Maybe people have long arms. Ah spos them monkey people are about again. Are they your people mum?

me: Mrs H says miles has the sames shoes as you!
(Dude): i haven't been to wales have i?
me: MILES not WALES!
(Dude): oh, is there whales there?
me: i don't think so, they have dragons though!
(Dude): I'm not going to wales mummy!
(evil laughter)

can hear a tiny sad voice ' I'm looking for my first customers' may have to
visit the shop (Dude)'s just created in his tent. didn't realise it was a shop, just thought he was 'camping'

aww now hes saying 'if anyone knocks at the door, welcome them in. if they're kids, welcome them in and give them pocket money. I'm gonna get payed for this'

(Dude): jay, do you have thumbs? (lifts the poor Kitty's front paws up) do this jay? (wiggles his thumbs in the hope the cat will copy)

(Dude) just shouted me
(Dude): muuuuuum, do ladies have beards?
me: erm...... sometimes :/
(Dude): if they have beards does that mean they're magical?
me: ermmmm.................... (thinking HELP!) ye.e.e.es ??? :S

(Dude): call a taxi will ya mum!
me: what for?
(Dude): I'm going on holiday, see! *holds up party bag full of toys and his umbrella, dressed only in a t-shirt*
me: where you going?
(Dude): London! to places you don't need underwear cos I've lost all mine!
me: your underwear isn't lost!
(Dude): Oh!